• JLud

The Perfect Perfectionist

Recovering physique addict. What is that anyway?  I have proclaimed myself as such...among lots of other things over the years. Here's the REAL deal. I have been wanting to unleash my online presence in the industry for a LONG time and something was always holding me back. What was it? For starters and for the purpose of this post I will keep it to a minimum. First of all I was NEVER transparent with my own personal struggles along my fitness journey. You see for the majority of my career I thought that I needed to be perfect, act perfect, LOOK perfect and appear to be uber fit ALL the time no matter what in order to motivate and empower others to help them begin their fitness journey. Well I was wrong. Dead wrong. 

By working so hard on creating my idea of "perfect" I missed the mark with myself. I lost my passion for fitness for a time. When I began my journey it truly and seriously changed my life. I became empowered in everything I did. I felt confident and strong. I was a better partner, mother and friend. I was emotionally more balanced and mentally sharp as a knife. I was a force! I was on POINT. But then...then it shifted. It became different. It became dark. My drive towards creating the image I thought I needed to be to help people was suffocating me and drowning me in darkness. I hid it. I held it close. But it haunted me. It triggered old disordered eating habits, full on emotional eating, binge eating and obsession to the point that I would not go out because I didn't want to have to eat food I wasn't "supposed' to. I kept getting onstage, I kept competing. It became my control mechanism by obsession my addiction. My body became my self worth. Through all of it  I was never content with my body.I was never enough. My waist was too big, booty too small, muscles never defined enough or never vascular or hard  enough?  What does vascular or hard even mean anyway!?!? 

My point is that somewhere down the road of all of my self discovery I found my passion again. I found it in the imperfection of myself. I found my voice. My truth. My courage to share all parts of my journey as openly as possible. I knew if I was to launch my business it had to be in pure transparency and my hope is that by me opening myself up to the reality of the industry it might help others with the same or similar struggles. As women our culture has molded us into what we think we need to look like in order to be worthy. I am here to tell you that is all bullshit. The fitness unattainable and unmaintainable images they inundate us with suck the light out of our souls. I am here to tell you I have done, seen and witnessed it all. REAL life does not look like the picture on your right. It looks like me the real me smiling at the camera. 

I will continue to share. My promise to you is to deliver pure transparency and to shed light on the realities of the fitness and the industry from my personal first hand experience. My promise is to give you me, the real me not the orange spray tanned, plastic shell version. My promise is to deliver REAL life fitness programs with REAL life nutrition for lifelong success without deprivation and only moderation. My promise is to help you stop yo yo dieting and learn to UN DIET for life! My promise is to make you healthier, more fit and stronger in your body, mind and life. My promise is to genuinely motivate you and give you the tools for success. Check out my new REAL online fitness business. www.fitlud.com and sign up for my free 5 Day Fitness Reset Challenge while you are there. And always remember to vibe high and shine bright.

Sending health and fitness your way, 



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Body dysmorphia at its finest..this is 100% untouched and NOT photoshopped
Left: Me post Physique addict/ Right: Me in the throws of Competing. I was told my " backside needed work"..and I believed them

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